Autistic adults have, in general, differences in sexuality from the norm. Many more are asexual than in the average population. It is believed...
When I was a teen I spent some time in group and foster homes. One of my friends in the group home, who I will just call Jay to protect the not-so-innocent, had a huge crush on me.
Our rooms were next to each other, and one night we were talking and he showed me his journal and it had a big rainbow sticker on it. I actually thought at the time he was teasing me. Jay was a masculine, athletic black guy and I was a feminine and nerdy white kid. I often wonder what would have happened if we had understood each other, but having autism spectrum disorder I have missed a lot of relationship opportunities because of my inability to correctly interpret nonverbal social cues.
Compound this with the stigma being gay has in our culture, and you have a situation where being gay and autistic can feel very lonely — like a compilation of missed opportunities to find a partner.
Jay tried so hard he even mooned me once in front of other guys, but at that time it was hopeless. So I wanted to write this for all my autistic peers able to date and have relationships, in hopes that you can learn from my experience and try to be aware of those in your life who want to love you as you are. Unconditional love is the most powerful thing in the universe, and I believe we should always seek to capture it when the opportunity is presented.
Possibly the most difficult thing for many of us as autistic people is to be willing to love someone so much we allow our carefully planned rituals and routines to be altered and compromised. The sort of control we lose if we marry someone and allow them to share our space can invoke the worst of our flight or flight instincts, yet family is part of existence.
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Clinical experience has identified that the majority of such adolescents and young adults would like a romantic relationship.
I am too old-fashioned when it comes to holidays. I persist to this day a handmade card beats a Hallmark carte de visite any day; someday I may read this back to my future wife, who will undergo exactly what I mean.
It actually just said thank you for being a friend. The Card actually burned too varied friendships to count, oh effectively. I need stability before that so no. I need some vowels too….
Today it is considered a high-functioning form of autism.
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